Black Lace
by Dracoisalooker76
Summary: McGee finds someone's missing undergarment at his desk and Tony is determined to find out whose it is by questioning Palmer as he walks by.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Alright. This is just a story that popped into my head while I was thinking about doing my homework. It's just a scene with not real plot or anything, just something I thought would be funny. The characters might be a little OOC, but that's okay. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

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**Black Lace**

Special Agent Timothy McGee cleared his throat. He looked at the object he held in his hands for a moment before looking at the two other agents in the bullpen, hoping that Gibbs didn't come down the stairs. "Um, guys?" he asked, his voice quivering a little.

"Yes, Probie?" Tony DiNozzo asked, clearly excited to get away from the paperwork he had been doing. Ziva also lifted her head.

"Um, do you know who these belong to?" he asked embarrassedly, holding up a pair of black lace underwear. Tony's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he jumped up from his seat to investigate. Snatching the undergarment from McGee's hand, he inspected it before it was taken from his hands by Ziva.

He raised an eyebrow. "They couldn't be yours, could they?"

McGee turned to Tony with shock written all over his features. His coworker's voice sounded almost angry, jealous even. He bit his tongue before he spoke another word, knowing if he said anything about it Tony would get him right back with an insult, even if the jealousness was true.

Ziva shook her head. "No," she said calmly. "But, I do think you should be imagining the woman who is wearing the matching bra right now." She handed them back to McGee, who took them slowly.

"Hey, has anyone seen Gibbs?"

The three turned to see Jimmy Palmer. McGee quickly tried to hide what he held in his hand, but Palmer noticed. His face turned the color of a tomato, his eyes focused on the underwear. The three investigator all looked at each other before Tony gave a quick nod and walked over, placing an arm on Ducky's assistant's shoulder.

"So, Jimmy? How's autopsy?" he questioned.

Palmer shuffled on his feet and nearly dropped the papers he was holding. "Uh, good."

Tony nodded and gave a smirk. "You know, I always wondered what it would be like to do _it_ at work," he said, going into his own mind for a minute. Palmer didn't say a word, so Tony continued. "Yeah, breaking the rules. Having a little secret within the office."

Beads of sweat started to form on Palmer's forehead, but Tony didn't stop. "And in this building, think of the endless possibility of places. On anyone's desk, the elevator...autopsy."

Palmer nodded feebly. "Yeah, there are a few places."

Tony grinned, having too much fun torturing the autopsy assistant. "Oh, I could just imagine. But, Gibbs would find out eventually because he knows everything." He chuckled. "Could you imagine what would happen if just one person found out?"

One slow shake of his head and Tony smiled evilly at the others. "Oh, well, McGee would tell Abby and she'd probably tell everyone else. Gibbs would yell, maybe even fire me. Madame Director wouldn't be to happy either. Ducky, oh poor Duck, would be so disappointed. And, the janitor-"

"You left me out," Ziva said.

Tony turned to Ziva, sending her a silent glare. Palmer, seeing his only chance at running, slipped under the agent's arm. He grabbed the underwear while McGee was fixated on the fight that was about to happen. Then, as quickly as he could, he walked to the elevator. As he was getting in, Michelle Lee walked by. He threw the undergarment at her as the door shut and she stuffed it in her bag. As she approached the bullpen, she could hear the latest argument of Ziva and Tony, and turned around.

"I am just saying that you should not have left me out," Ziva yelled.

"What was I going to say, 'and then Ziva would kill me with a paperclip'? Then he wouldn't say anything, not to mention be cowering off in a corner!" Tony yelled back. Both their faces were bright red. McGee kept looking around to make sure that no one was disturbed by the noises, but everyone seemed to be used to it.

"Guys," McGee yelled. "Calm down! Palmer's gone."

Tony spun around and cursed. Then he walked up to Ziva and stood two inches away from her. "You see, now he's gone," he said quietly. "And we'll never know who he was fooling around with at McGee's desk. Fooling around means-"

"I know what it means, Tony," she interrupted, putting her hand in his face. "You are just angry because you were having fun torturing Palmer."

Tony shook his head. "No, I'm proud of the little autopsy gremlin. He is my idol. I just wanted to know who helped him become my idol."

"Really, because it seems to me that you were thinking of doing page 57 with someone on Gibbs's desk," she said with a smirk. Tony raised an eyebrow, remembering quite vividly the day they first met and the article in the magazine.

Although, McGee wasn't in on the inside joke. "What's Page 57?"

Tony grinned. "You know, McGeek, I don't think you're old enough to learn about this."

Glaring at his coworker, he sat up in his chair. "No, really, Tony. What is it?"

"Well, my little Probie, it's a little something like this." He walked over to Ziva and picked her up, ignoring her complaints and set her down on the table. He instructed her to lay down before proceeding to lay down on top of her. "Do you get the picture, McInnocent."

McGee nodded and looked down awkwardly into his lap, wishing he had never asked. Tony was satisfied with his reaction and turned to his partner with a smile. "You know, it's a whole new view from this angle. Maybe I'll ask the Gremlin about good places to-"

"DiNozzo!"

Tony looked up to see Gibbs, standing at the entrance to the bullpen with a man who appeared to be a high ranking member of the navy. Biting his lip, he smiled at the older agent. "Hi, Boss! It's not what it looks like. I was explaining-" Gibbs glared at him and he concluded with, "shutting up."

"Well, Gibbs, I'll just guide myself to the elevator. It was nice to meet you," the man said before walking to the elevator. When the doors closed, Gibbs walked over to Tony and slapped him on the head twice as hard as usual.

Tony made a small noise upon impact. "Who was that, Boss? He looked important."

"That," Gibbs said slowly, "was the new Secretary of the Navy, who just finished an important meeting with the director and a few others in her office. The director had just told him of the three extraordinary agents on my team."

When Tony didn't move, Gibbs slapped him on the head again. "If you-"

"Jethro! Mr. Palmer told me that you were no where in sight!" Ducky's voice rang out, putting an end to the sentence Gibbs was about to say. He entered the bullpen with Palmer and an upset looking Abby, but stopped beside McGee's desk.

Abby cheered with excitement, apparently the only one not to notice the scene that was playing out before she arrived. "Gibbs!" she said, jumping up and down. "I thought something bad had happened to you because you haven't been to visit me today!"

Gibbs told her to be quiet for a minute before yelling at Tony. "Get up or you'll be looking in the classifieds tomorrow, DiNozzo!"

Tony jumped off the desk and stood before Gibbs like a child who had been caught with cookies before dinner. Ziva also stood and hopped off Gibbs's desk. Then he turned, letting them squirm for a few minutes while getting the information from Ducky. The three turned to leave and Gibbs faced two. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"It was all Palmer's fault!" Tony exclaimed as a hand connected with the back of his head.

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**Okay, was it really bad? Good? I'd love the feedback.**

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**Review!**


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